The Tales Of Bacon

I’ve been waiting to write this for awhile but I was holding off till later and with it being 4 days from the new year…let’s do this thing.

The Year of Learning to do stuff alone and a cast change. (Not a sad year also listen to My way by Frank Sinatra as you read)

So this year did not start out great. I lost my bestfriend and some other people in the process. I’m not going to go into it because I’m over it and it’s this event that changed my whole year, so I wouldn’t go back in time and stop it from happening.

So for the first time in a long time I was alone. I had no one to go shopping with or eat lunch or dinner with. I never thought I would lose my bestfriend, I spent the first month crying myself to sleep. This part sucked but what came next hurt even more.

In the midst of losing my friend my great grandmother passed away. So my support net that I usually have was not there. My ex bestfriend broke her silence and let me call her so I could at least talk to someone about it. My great grandma was 96 and we all knew it was coming, but it still hurt. Theres a lot of family drama around her passing. Manly a lot of my family had stopped visiting and really hadn’t seen her in a few months/years. My grandpa her son didn’t want to tell our cousin because he felt like they had all the time to come see her before, why should they get to see her now. But me and my sister talked to him and said its unfair and that’s not what she would want. He let everyone know so they could say good bye before she passed. (She was in a hospice at this time) I will say my grandpa knows how to throw shade. She when passed away my grandfather was crying looked up at one of my cousins and said “she always asked for you and wanted to know where you were and I always lied and now she’s gone” Like dang my grandpa is Savage.

I was really close to my great grandmother and spoke at the funeral. It was hard but it was good. It had rained for weeks before and after that, which caused us not to be able to bury her. So I’ll have to come back to that later. In the next few weeks I reconnected with an old friend and actually a lot of old friends and some new ones. I was trying to kill the old me who cared for a person I didn’t want to care for anymore. I neve really drank before but this was the year for that. I never got too drunk so don’t worry. Even tried to smoking but that did not work lol.

I had finally stopped crying about my ex bestfriend and my grandma and it was time to get out but I really didn’t have anyone or anything. I couldn’t let that hold me back anymore from enjoying life. I started driving to card shops on the weekends and making new friends out of town. Got over eating in a restaurant by myself. Went shopping alone and now I do it successfully. Everything was great and I had a old friend and his girlfriend in my life. I taught my first lifeguarding class over spring break and we finally buried my grandmother which it was a very beautiful day. Life just felt good I had cut out people and was doing great or so I thought.

I had a break down at work and it was the last time I cried over my friend because I had to really move on and realize I’m not getting back what we had. I need to stop trying to make the friendship work because that’s what I wanted and she did not. Once I realized that I was over it and was able to move one.

(writers notes: I was in love her that’s why it was so hard)

I almost died! I was on 45 going 80 and it was raining. I hydroplane and skidded across 5 Lanes didn’t hit anybody or the barriers. My car ended up facing to opposite direction but I was okay. I think someone up there was looking out for me. I felt weird after that and guess what happen next also was weird.

I went out on a date. I forget if you don’t know me that’s new thing for me. Actually all year I had gone on dates and tried dating apps. Once I met this girl named Amy from Conroe we met up had food didn’t feel any chemistry.

This other girl was someone I kinda knew she worked at my old job, I added her on Facebook and she started talking to me. Went on a few dates and we became official. I hadn’t had a girlfriend since jr year so that was like…12 year ago lol. I didn’t know a lot but it was good and I liked her a lot. It was great to have someone to talk to and who wanted to hear from you. We eventually broke up but it was okay. I guess I just handled it well maybe because we only really dated for like 2 months. But I did get out of it that there is someone out there for me and now I’m hopeful because before I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to want to date me.

The week we broke up is titled break up week lol. There were two other relationships that ended that week so that why it’s called that. When I went to tell my friend about it my ex bestfriend was there. I guess I should tell you they have a kid together but they’re not together so sometimes she drops off the kid but it’s been months since I had ran into her. So we talked and then we yelled and got everything out.

The next biggest hurdle of doing things by yourself was going to a concert. Actually that concert was amazing had fun and made a friend. I had been doing great the last and final thing I need to do was to forgive the friends who I had felt wronged me early that year. It wouldn’t have been possible with out one of my new I had made. She talked to me a lot and I had realized if I’m becoming more of an adult I need to learn how to forgive and not be Petty. Which was hard because before all of this I was very petty so much they would call me Tom Petty. (Pause for laughter) Anyways I did forgive him and put all of past grievances behind me and felt good about it.

I had started talking to my old friend Shay and I kinda started doing religion again. There’s no right way to put that in a sentence, I actually don’t know how to structure that. What ended up happening was I found my faith again. I really love that.

Throughout the year my relationship with my family had become better. I think once I stopped worrying about these other friends so much and kind of focused a little bit more on me things just got better. I like to believe things are better for them too because I don’t hold any animosity towards them. I have grown so much this year and I absolutely love it. I didn’t talk about trips I took, concert I went to, events and parties because they weren’t all that important, but I wouldn’t have been able to do any of them if I was still in that old group of friends. I was finally free to be me more than I’ve ever been it was great. I’ve made some strong connections with some old friends, made new friends, had great memories and I loved every moment of it.

I found a quote I said a lot this year. That was “Life is funny, you don’t get to know what comes next and honestly that’s the best part”

So now as I look back, I realize I had an amazing year with a lot of self discovery and growing. I guess you could say that this year was the year that I did it My Way! Hahaha

P.s Ready for 2019